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After an intense Christmas break, the most genuine wedding I have ever been to, a month of school, many pairs of shoes filled with rainwater, and two new jobs, I sat down this weekend and admitted that I am 100% integrated back into Vancouver life. I carry a pair of sunglasses in my bag while wearing rain boots. I’ve made up for all the sushi I didn’t eat on exchange. I even told someone that they should have put their food in the compost bin. I’m still in the middle of figuring out how Bordeaux-Rebekah and Vancouver-Rebekah are going to get along, but as of right now, I am choosing to be present here in this city (and I know this because I’ve stopped searching up tickets on Skyscanner). The best way I can put how the past few weeks have been is that I have been:

a) slowly and surely closing doors in my heart. So many of them have been opened for far too long; some I know are being shut too soon. All feel like I’ve jammed my fingers between the cracks, and I need someone to pry me away. All are needed. It has been a painful, but necessary process and a process that seems to have no stop date. But the best thing about it is that I know there is freedom at the end of this!

b) learning that I have a community here. Coming home means relearning my good and bad ties. It means realizing that I’m not this lone traveller anymore, and I’m not just putting my questions out into the universe hoping for an answer. I’m still putting my questions out to people who may not be able to answer them, but at least they’re people who know me well. One thing my manager always says to me is, “Be heard.” It sounds strange, but I am relearning how to be heard.

c) seeing that adventure is around the corner no matter where in the world I am! Grace and I went to Golden Ears Provincial Park to shoot, and I’ve posted what we came up with. Videography is probably never going to be my medium of choice. I don’t have nearly enough skills to produce something I’m actually willing to put up for real critique, but it’s so much fun to play with!

d) writing poetry?! I have always tried to be poetic but have had trouble calling my writing poetry, It’s such a weighted word, and one of the bravest forms of writing I’ve ever encountered. But my goal for this semester is to write one poem that I’m proud enough of to share aloud. So to put more of myself out there, here’s something I wrote for my Creative Writing class:

Seabed

The first time I met the ocean
She crushed me in her embrace.
I followed wet footprints on dripping docks
Like a breadcrumb trail of sea salt
Dove into her arms headfirst as if there was a pillow on the bottom
Eyes closed and hands reaching for level eight swimming pool lessons
I was met with green fingertips and a tight grip
My feet scrambled for a ghost step
And missed
I heard thunder in her heartbeat
Saw sinking ships in her veins –
This was the deep end.

The second time I met her
She received me like a postcard.
She was a cradle
Soft yarn like cat’s cradle
She, the silk ribbon waves
I, the maypole
She was the mouth of the whale
That Jonah knew well
I trusted her; toes first
Then legs,
Then hips,
Then torso
Even up to my neck
Loose fingers, no chokehold on my throat
Her arms a winter duvet around my chest
A bed first cold; then warm.

GUEST POST: Esther Park

Introducing Esther Park: The other half of the HoPark Collab

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Hello! I’m Esther, the Park in the HoPark Collaboration series! Well, clearly, the series hasn’t gone quite as planned, having not kept up with one piece a week, and it’s definitely been my fault. But I hope that even after Rebekah comes back from her exchange, that I can continue and make up for the weeks lost!

Anyways, I’m not much of a writer so I’ll keep this guest post short. This semester has been pretty brutal. I’ve had one too many all nighters, weekly projects, and all for just one course. I’m exhausted and have just felt drained physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Who knew that even the thing that I love to do, design, could bring me so much stress! So the lyrics from Hillsong’s “Bones” came to mind when I was thinking about the content of the typography. First of all, it’s one of my favourite worship songs at the moment and it just resonates with me right now. I’ve felt like a pile of dry bones lately, and need to have some life breathed into me. I also thought it would make for some interesting type, using the content to direct the form. I promise though, there will be more HoPark Collab to come in the future!

SWITZERLAND

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1. An excerpt from a letter I received right before I left for Switzerland:

“‘He climbed a mountain and invited those He wanted with Him. They climbed with Him.’ – Mark 3:13

So many significant things happen when Jesus goes to a mountain – the transfiguration, the sermon on the mount, the temptation by the enemy. But so many seemingly ordinary things, like praying and simply being with His disciples. I want to pray this image over you today.”

I never thought I would miss seeing mountains so much, but it has always been nice looking up and seeing something constant; to know that there is always something sacred within your peripherals.

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2. We trained through 4 cities in 4 days, but we spent most of our time in Interlaken, which is a quiet little town that is simultaneously retirement paradise and every adrenaline junkie’s dream. The town is wedged between two of the most turquoise lakes I have ever seen, and when I got out of the train station, I did a 360 turn and everywhere I looked, there was a mountain in sight. It’s a different kind of paradise.

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3. We hiked up to Harder Kulm, and it was 3 hours of uphill sweating, snow slipping, and heaving breathing, but we went through golden forest, rolling green hills, and fields of snow, and the view at the top was insane, so it was definitely worth every step. On our way up, we met a very cute Swiss couple who had just come back from a trip across America, had done exchange in Australia, and were heading to Bali next week for a year. They’re not the first people I’ve met on this trip who’s goals are travel-oriented. I’ve talked to Australian backpackers (so many Australian backpackers!), an Irish woman who fell in love with Southeast Asia, and a Frenchman who’s dream is to move to Chile – all of them always thinking about where they are heading next. And I often feel the same. My next month’s itinerary is packed, and I’m already thinking about where I’m going to jet off to next year. But one thing is for certain: the place I’m most excited to travel to is Vancouver. It doesn’t matter how many mountains I climb or how many places I see the ocean from, home is special and I think my home has the best mountains and the best ocean.

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4. Usually I pass out on trains, but while we rode through Switzerland, I couldn’t help but try to battle the window reflections and attempt to catch a few shots of what we were passing by. It’s HaRi’s dream to move here for a few years, and I see that dream in full force now. Every time I looked up, it was a change of scene, and I couldn’t believe how this country is a postcard come to life.

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5. We met a girl named Sofia on one of our train rides. She was a violinist who had left home to chase her dreams of becoming a professional soloist, and she was travelling to Switzerland to take a master class.

Chasing a dream like this will kill you if you don’t love it. You have to love it.”

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6. Zurich is a city that feels like Christmas. It is so full of light and life, and I love the way how people still insist on sitting outdoors even though it’s freezing out, so restaurants and cafes leave blankets out for their customers. We warmed our hands with hot coffee, even though the waiter laughed at us for ordering espressos instead of gin and tonics at 9 pm (“The cows go to bed after 6!”), and we filled out stomachs with fondue in the coziest bistro. On Sunday morning, Zurich was slate grey with overcast skies and a silver lake, and it was still beautiful but it was the first time I have ever seen a place more colorful in the dark than the light.

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